Russian Doll

The premise of Russian Doll — [1] Fuck you for thinking this is an indicator of A"I". with the two main characters, Alan Zaveri and Nadia Vulvokov — who have mystical experiences that speak to the nature of their current lives.
They have two separate kinds of these experiences depending on the season they are in, with the first season being a time-loop that resets on their death that changes (subtly) depending on the actions done in the previous iteration.
They get to learn about themselves and their relations with others through this mystical path.
From here on out, there will be spoilers

In other news, I watched this when it came out in 2019, rewatched it when the season 2 came out. This is probably my third watch, if not it were there a second rewatch of season 1 and a rewatch of season 2. I don't know. I don't remember. Anyways, ,
ON A SIDE NOTE , the name of the series might be twofold — one the simpler meaning of being a nesting doll of reality where the main characters have to pick apart the layers to figure out the nature of it; and it could be in reference to Empty Spaces's use of the term "Doll" to mean a specific kind of traumatized feminine subject. (Although I am unqualified, I take it to mean a Doll referring to looking pretty and desiring being played with roughly or treated like an object.)
Albeit the latter meaning is likely unintended and could be a stretch.

Season 1

This series is primarily about the death drive, and how the main characters have to undo their passions relating it. The original sin that leads to the undoing of their reality is that of the ignoring of each other's plight in a new york corner store. Alan is distraught his girlfriend rejected his proposal. Nadia ignores him being visibly inebriated and distraught after Ferran dismisses her inquiry, and goes off with Mike instead. This leads to Alan killing himself, and Nadia being ran over by a taxi (with it presumably being at the same time as the suicide).

In the interview[2] with the Teferit Israel Rabbi, John is told that his relationship Episode 3 "A Warm Body" : 9:32 with Nadia is a distraction from the Abyss. With this John later retorts to Nadia's sarcasm[3] around actually Episode 3 "A Warm Body" : 14:38 enjoying his company and wanting to be with him — that she is the Abyss itself. Both of these can be true. I will argue that poor interactions with and knowledge of the abyss leads to the driving forces of the interactions with this show. I reckon that the two differing personalities of Alan and Nadia, constitue Apollonianism and Dionysianism.

Nadia. Nadia is a seasoned drug addict and programmer. One would erroneously assume that her interactions with the abyss is that of pure embrace. But this is a false image. Her interactions are to avoid the abyss of her childhood, as is seen in the later episodes of the season. She does not cough up a shard of a broken mirror in a café trying to meet John's daughter, for no reason. It is through her rejection of dealing with her abyss, that she constructs a dionysian reality to distract herself. One could say she is a "Dionysian Abyss", but it confuses and draws one away from the reality there is something being constructed around the abyss.

Alan is more straightforward, he is someone who likes order, tries to maintain moral piety, and tries to fit in. He constructs a reality of piety in order to avoid interacting with the abyss. His confrontation with the reality of Beatrice cheating on him with Mike, and the realization that Mike is just flat-out skeevy ,man. — makes him come to understand that it is what it is, that Beatrice is no longer in love with him, and that it is fine. That there exists evil, and that one does not need to confront it necessarily.

If one where to assume that Nadia was an abyss (accepting John's premise), then one could say that she is acting as such by being rude to Ruth when she is looking for help with the mystical situation, and the altercations with the paramedics over not relinguishing the krugerrand necklace, her curtness with Maxine after every resurrection and so forth.
But this is not the case, given that her inner child stalks her at the end of the season. She is afraid to submit to accepting the nature of her childhood, submitting to the abyss relating it. She does not want to accept that she has to let this part of reality to die and to move on. Symbolically, this is linked with the earlier scene in which her mother is smashing all the mirrors she can get her hands on in the house. [Ruth] Stop it she can hear you. She can hear all of it! [I.e. Nadia hearing the mirrors being smashed] [fn4] There was also a comical amount of watermelons being bought earlier and being cut up by Lenora before this. Something Ruth said as to eating chicken noodle soup set Lenora off on this attempt at destroying mirrors.
Ruth reckons before this that the destruction of mirrors as being related to trying to avoid being percieved.

[Lenora] Good, then you can hear this too.
[Ruth] There is a kid out here!
[Lenora] You are not her mother!
[Ruth] Well her mother keeps fucking up!

The abyss that Alan is ignoring is the emptiness within his relationship with Beatrice, leading to his abyss being co-located within Mike Kershaw. [To Alan] Nobody chooses me, I am the hole where a choice should be. -t. Professor Fuck Mike Kershaw Within the episode "Superiority Complex", Alan tries to confront him multiple times regarding his infidelity and sleaziness, to the chagrin of everyone else involved. Alan does not accept that someone can be involved with his dear Beatrice and also have casual relations with other members of Nadia's 36th birthday party.
He learns to undo his posessiveness of Beatrice through these interactions, and learns that any amount of shows of morality does nothing to dissaude Mike and his behaviour.

One of the attempts at reasoning about the mystical is that Alan reckons that they have to go about mending fences in order to undo it. This leads to the attempts at Nadia reconnecting with John and trying to mend her relationship with him and his daughter. An amazing quote from one of the interactions related is: [To Alan] Sexualising self-hatred is the hallmark of any relationship based on marital infidelity.
- t. Nadia

And another: [To Alan] With this amount of guilt I am surprised you are not a Jew
- t. Nadia (for reference, 3rd generation Hungarian Jewish immigrant)

During this attempts at ameliorating Nadia's relationship with John, Alan leads himself to death from inebriation after flailing at trying to win Beatrice over.

Their life resets are not static. One time Nadia died, a man walking down the street towards her did not have sunglasses, and a Lady's pram disappeared also. Major events also change, wherein Alan submitted to the abyss and submitted to the idea that he cannot fix his relationship with Beatrice — in that he can do nothing bar submit to the reality that she is gone — he throws the ring into one of the rivers going through New York City. The ring itself disappears the next morning after he dies — along with the fish that will kill if another of its kind is in its tank with it. Hm.
There is also the loss of the mirror after the incident where Nadia tells Alan off for cleaning her house and taking out photos of Nadia's mother and placing them over her computer desk. Alan later kills himself over this, wherein through this realizes how he dies the first time. The mirror could be related to Nadia's Mother's relationship with mirrors, but I am unsure.
Hence the loss would be a loss of objectivity, a loss of interaction with another party that reflects your actions back to yourself. I find this to be dubious however, since this act does not destroy the relationship between Nadia and Alan and that Alan uses this to see clearer his own life.

These alterations of the timeline on reset, leads to the appeareance of the apparition of Nadia as a child. Initially, only minor amounts of people had disappeared from the world, from Nadia only having 1 person trying to enter the bathroom after her resurrection, to no one going in. I am the party. -t. Maxine Maxine says this after dancing within a reverie smoking a "cocaine" (actually Ketamine) loaded dart alone in the old yeshiva. Ultimately, Maxine does not come with Nadia unlike the previous runs ("I can't"). The way this is shot is interesting, with Maxine lending her hand to Nadia's shoulder, and saying that, and then a small jump cut back to her dancing by herself and Nadia leaving. I surmise the jump cut lends itself to coming across that it might not have been Maxine herself saying it.

Before the appearance of the child version of Nadia, Alan is quoted in saying the following at their last meet. [To Nadia] You are the most selfish person I have ever met. Thank you for changing my life. Lives are hard to change. -t. Alan When Nadia confronts the last appearance of the apparition, the final day plays out where the two of them are in a world where their consciousnesses are not shared. They had a chance to rectify the initial sin that lead down this reliving life they shared.

In the last episode, where their conscioussnesses do not interact within the same plane of existence, they get to undo the sins of omission and commission that lead to their demises. Nadia follows and keeps an eye on the inebriated and distraught Alan, eventually talking with him down from the ledge. Alan does the same, talking with Nadia at Ferran's corner store, eventually convincing her that he does know of her in a non-trivial capacity, with the exact figure of her college fund. Alan then manages to convince Nadia that going off with Mike is the wrong decision and that there is something deeper at play here.

Circling back to the main point, the avoiding of the abyss, the punting the problem until they die from it. They construct a phantasmagoria to distract from reality, often hiding from a kernel around the abyss. The kernel being that of the situation in Nadia's childhood, or the history that Alan has with that of Beatrice. The rest of their affects derive from constructions ontop of that kernel: Nadia, the dionysianism, and for Alan that of the apollonianism.


Season 2

NOTE: I am yet to rewatch it. Give me a Bit.